Hi, I would like to let you know firstly you are not alone and that certainly it is not an easy situation.
Firstly you need to ask yourself if it concerns that your ex has drug and alcohol issues,
Why is it you allow your son to spend time with him and especially overnight?
If he stalks you and is constantly tracking you, you need to decide whether you feel threatened to the point that your or your childs life is in risk of harm or danger.
If this is the case then you have a right to feel safe and be in a position to protect yourself and your child from harm.
You need to consider if it is wise to take out an intervention order for your protection and that of your sons.
You also need to ask yourself, if you do not feel that your life in real danger, I suggest rather you take out an intervention order and have police involved which might agitate things, it would be wiser to approach Relationship Australia or a women support group and ask for their assistance in resolving your concerns.
This may prove to be the most beneficial approach at this point of time and without knowing your full circumstances.
On the other hand if you do go to the police for help and you get an intervention order the police will inform that it being a family law matter the family Court will be the best place to go, and get Family Court orders which will override any intervention order the police may put in place to assist you.
Court is a very nasty place no matter what you do, for example if you go to the police and place an intervention order on your ex you are and may be deemed by the court as a parent who has lacked insight to whats in the children best interest for going to police and it can go against you in the long run.
If you do go to the police, only you will know if you have done the right thing for you and your son, go with your gut instinct on this one.
Since your view is, you yourself want your son to have a relationship with his father I would think somehow your ex needs to face and come to terms with his behaviors and realize the impact that it is having upon, one himself and that of his son. GOODLUCK
You can only be responsible for your own actions and there is no Court or person in this world that is able to change him if he does not want to change.
If you do not live with him any longer he cannot dictate to you how you choose to live your life.
Even though it sounds messy do keep diary notes of all incidents time date and what happened in detail.
As at the end of the day if an agreement is not reach between both of you only the Courts will be able to put in place an enforceable parenting plan.
Remember you are not alone and as far as assertions and allegations of competency it is all irrelevant keep it minimal and try not to let it concern you.
When people separate and live apart the connection between is always going to be bitter in some cases as a lot of anger and stupid things are said.