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Posts

(#45763) – By ds80

Already tried that, Samba. I said that above. The reality is that she always has, and always will want me on the distant sidelines. Her actions back it up.

As for serving my child's best interests, I am a great Dad to him if I must say so, and he deserves more time shared with me. She won't allow it & has refused to respond to proposals for extra time.

Anyway, thanks for your input, I'm best to wait for an order to be put in place.

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(#45757) – By ds80

That is what I've been doing for the past 6 weeks, driving 2 hrs for limited time spent with my son. I fear this will become a long term problem if it's not addressed legally.
It is important to me to know if the driving will ever be shared again regardless of when she gets a car.

Samba, while I appreciate moral input from people, I don't appreciate my situation being treated as unimportant. You are being judgmental.

She is tightening me as far out of my sons life as possible, which is why I need to respond through the legal system & be tight on these things too. It's fathers and mothers who flail around being walkovers that results in power imbalances. I'm not into games, just looking for a fair go, while I work a hard, honest week and pay my dues.

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(#45735) – By ds80

Samba, hey now, I didn't move far away. We never lived together, and I moved half an hour closer than what we previously were in an effort to make it easier for all of us. It used to be a 1 hr drive each way.
If you knew our history, you would understand the massive efforts I have gone to to be amicable and be mr Nice guy. All my support from counselling has directed me to stop being a walkover. I offered to buy her a car not long ago while hers was on its way out, a 2006 commodore and she could pay half of it back over three years through child support. She turned it down with a very ungrateful attitude. She knew it would mean she was expected to negotiate fairly with me.
She has expressed time and time again how she wants to be in full control and it's backed up by the games and hurdles she puts up for me. Eg telling me I couldn't see my son on fathers day because ahe was busy, is one of many examples. I was so sad that day but I didn't want to create any waves.
Enough is enough, and it's business from here on. I am committed to being a reasonable person.

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(#45721) – By ds80

Thanks fairgo. Do you mean I should be responsible for pickup, and she should pick him up too at the end of the visit?

Specifically, if her car has died and se doesn't have one for the forseeable future, how does this impact a decision made by the court? Is she expected to find a way to do it? She borrows her parents car for other things.

We didn't live together at all do there is no property settlement.

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(#45709) – By Fairgo

Usually the parent who is to care for the children is responsible for pickups but you can negotiate whatever you like.

Have you guys done your property settlement?

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Sharing transport - ex has no car (#45698) – By ds80

Hi all, I have been on these forums a year ago trying to get my head around a few things and got some great help from here.

The short story is I have an 18 month old child, no court orders yet (the court process is about to begin), and a verbal parenting plan which allows me to only see him one day a week. Been to mediation, tried RDM which she didn't turn up to, and the common story is the ex wants complete control and makes it as difficult as possible to communicate or negotiate time spent with my child.

Her car has recently died and she now has no car. She used to share the travel with me to drop the child off, but now she can't and it's come time to get orders in place. I am currently doing 2 hours of driving (4x30mins) each Saturday to spend time with the child at my house. Please keep in mind it's a country town with no public transport between us.

How will her not having transport affect joint responsibility in travel? I am proposing to have overnights midweek and weekends to spend substantial and significant time with my son through the court.



Thanks

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