If I could borrow upon the experience of those within once more, my thoughts are that I should withdraw that which has been forwarded in response to my ex's current claim (all proceeds from our house plus 25K spousal maintenance) and instruct my solicitor with (roughly, depending on his advice) the following, to be finalised via consent orders rather than a BFA:
75/25 or 80/20 from the house
My remaining percentage to be paid to her as spousal maintenance (meaning she still gets all proceeds and I don't accrue a debt), or in the unlikely event that I end up with any of the proceeds that I pay it as CS.
If she lodges a claim for some of my super, draft a splitting order so that my military super remains untouched, and any exchanges be drawn from my current super fund.
Interim care orders for regular weekly contact, to be increased as appropriate according to their ages and capacity for time away from their mother.
The way I see it, if it costs a few K extra to fight her S/M claim, anything is better than the 25K she's currently demanding (yes, demanding, by repeatedly using the line "It's in the best interests of the children"....seems very rehearsed!), and I will have the peace of mind of knowing whether or not she embezzled any of my income. As mentioned previously, she wants the money from the sale of the house now, so I figure I can use that as leverage to force her into being more realistic, or more accurately, less greedy and spiteful. Any thoughts or feedback are more than welcome.